Frickin' Ants

For the last hour or so I felt that all was well and that perhaps, ever so slightly, I could see myself emerging from this funk I was in.

So being glad that my day was winding down, I was looking forward to going to bed. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and there they were, those annoying buggers. Argh. We had ants in our bathroom - again! Darn buggers!

The last time we had problems, it started ever so slowly. A few here, a few there. I thought I was being proactive by taking one afternoon and cleaning the entire bathroom and every nook and cranny in that place - the tub, toilet, sinks, counters, mirrors, mopping the floor, etc. I even purposely used an extra strong solution of H2O and bleach, thinking the residue of bleach would keep the buggers away. That didn't happen. The next day the buggers were back with reinforcements to boot. Is it just me, or do you also agree it's kinda creepy to see the vast number of them in action? Their trail in the bathroom was nighmarish, and I really had a hard time stomaching the clean up. I wish I had a man around then to take care of the issue.

I digress here, as I am MAD and just angry that I am manless right now. My roommate, JM (not TN who I had the previous issue with), is not exactly the type of guy I'd want my sister to end up with. He's nice and all, but when it comes down to being a *man* and *taking care* of things around the house, he doesn't cut it. The last few things around the house that had to be fixed, *I*, yes, yours truly, had to fix it. Oh...yeah, did I tell you how resentful I am for having to be the man around this house? Not only am I the one who keeps it clean and orderly like all women naturally do, but I am also the one who has to be the handyman around here.

As of this year, I've done the following:

- I fixed our squeaky doors. Ok, that's not a big deal, but part of that resentment is the fact that it takes TWO SECONDS to apply WD40 to the hinges. If I wasn't around, nothing would get addressed.

- I took care of our clogged pipes. Yeah, again. An easy fix. My roommate was fine showering in a tub that would back up in mid-shower to 4 or 5 inches of water. When I returned from my trip and realized the problem he said it "was no big deal". Gross. Uh...it takes one trip to the store for Drainer and TWO SECONDS to pour it down the drain.

- One of the two sinks in the bathroom was leaking. All my roommate did was put towels around the place to catch the water and worked around the issue. DAGGIT!! It takes TWO SECONDS to replace a friggin' washer!

- Ants in the kitchen. Again, who addressed the issue? My roommates still cooked and ate in there while the ants had their trail going on along the baseboard. Sheesh. Way GROSS.

- Garage door was acting up. It took me TWO SECONDS to diagnose that somehow it got off the track and to make a phone call for someone to come fix it.

- Garbage not being taken out. There was one moment in time when I realized I was the only one taking out the trash, whether it was from the bathroom, the kitchen, or the office. So I decided to see what would happen when I stopped doing so. Yeah, any wild guesses? It just piled up higher and higher. I really was grossed out by all the filth they lived with when I didn't take the trash out. It didn't seem to bother them at all. I finally couldn't stand it and had to take the trash out. Sheesh. It takes TWO SECONDS to do this, too.

- There are more items I could list here, including washing dishes, mowing the lawn, and stuff in the fridge. Argh...

Oh man...this could turn into a digression about the lack of "real men" out there. I could potentially post more in a few minutes. Thinking about all of this is really pissing me off! I kid you not.

Anyway, regarding tonight...

Seems the buggers are trickling back in again, and this time I'm going straight for the bug spray. Nothing is more annoying than having to take time to attend to them. Argh.

I take that back. The only thing more annoying than the buggers are men. Ok. Not just *men*. I like men. It's the inability to find one I can defer to on these matters.

Ok. Now I'm just pissy. Sorry for the digression. More later.

Argh.

Good Quote

From my other blog...Been in one of those "moods" still. Don't know when this funk will be over.

*sigh*

Are the holidays over yet?

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"I've had your tears with mine, and you've had mine with yours. I think that's more intimate even than a kiss."
- Jane, in "Children of the Mind", by Orson Scott Card

Does He (Or She) Make Your Heart Sing?

I read a magazine article over dinner in which someone said she was dating a handsome, wealthy investment banker who was totally into her. She was telling someone about her "fabulous" situation, to which the person asked, "does he make your heart sing?"

The woman ended her relationship after that convo.

Who can make my heart sing? And if you could, would I have the courage to sing with you?

*sigh*

Wow - Add Another to the List

Well....another co-worker announced her mum is going in for surgery on Weds.

How come my day suddenly feels like it's on this downward spiral???

Daggit! I hate the holidays. I want to run. To be free. To just get away from it all.

*sigh*

Is there anyone out there who has the ability to instill some hope in me?

Anyone out there who has the ability to love me and to encourage me during these times?

Is there anyone out there I want to run to and to feel safe with?

Is there anyone who understands the depths of this struggle?

Anyone who is strong enough to stand beside me during these times?

Anyone who can help ease this burden in my heart and who will love me through it all?

The questions are infinite.

The answer is simple.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer; My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is the shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
- Psalm 18: 2 (NIV)

Song - The Gift

If you've got the means, download the songs if you can.  

They are so much better with the music.

Ciao!


The Gift
by Collin Raye

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on like a fairy tale come true
Sittin' by the fire we made
You're the answer when I prayed
I would find someone and baby I found you

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful everyday
For the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
What I'd give if I could keep
Just this moment if only time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us gray
But baby in my eyes you'll still be beautiful

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful everyday
For the gift

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful everyday
Can't find the words to say
Thank you for the gift

Song - My Grown Up Christmas Wish

But I know we all seek to befriend that child us in sometimes.

*Hugs*

My Grown Up Christmas Wish
By Plus One


Do you remember me,

I sat upon your knee,

and wrote to you with childhood fantasies.

Well I'm all grown up now,

And still need help somehow,

I'm not a child but my heart still can dream.

So here's my life long wish

My grownup Christmas list

Not for myself but for a world in need.


No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts.

Everyone would have a friend,

And right would always win,

And love would never end.

This is my grownup Christmas list.


As children we believed

The grandest sight to see,

Was something lovely wrapped beneath our tree.

Well, heaven surely knows

That packages and bows

Can never heal a hurting human soul.


Chorus


What is this illusion called innocence and youth.

Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth.


No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts.

Everyone would have a friend,

And right would always win,

And love would never end.

This is my grownup Christmas list.

This is my only life-long wish.

This is my grownup Christmas list.

Crap Diagnosis or I've Got A Tight Arsh

Back from the dr.'s.

I was "diagnosed" with CMP aka Chondromalacia Patella.

I did a quick yahoo search and I am rather bothered by what I found. Sounds like I've got a crap diagnosis or a very legit issue.

The doctor kept making lame jokes about old age and my body falling apart in old age. What a dork.

Anyway, he had me simulate a few physical therapy positions to check out the knee. There was one in particular where I had to lie on my side and extend my leg backwards and let it rest on the table. My leg never reached the table and had a bit of "spring" to it. Apparently the muscle that runs down the back of my leg and up my arsh is a bit tight, hence my "tight arsh" comment in the title. Nothing wrong with that muscle or situation at all. It just means there's a bit more strain on the knee during physical activity than if the muscle were a more stretched out. So he suggested some physical therapy to add some flexibility to that muscle.

I dunno...his bedside manner wasn't the best. I left there feeling like a number and not as a person who was trying to be proactive about her health.

Ah...the healthcare system...there's a potential post on that topic as well. :-\

From My Other Blog

This was originally posted when I found out about the London bombings. Thought I'd repost it here...

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July 08, 2005

This is obvious...or maybe not so obvious to some. Thought I'd post it anyway.

London is in my heart and in my prayers.

Exerpt from "When Tragedy Strikes: Finding Security in a Vulnerable World"

Tragedy: What It Can Teach Us

Most of us would prefer to avoid a tragedy. That's normal. But terror-management specialists argue that a confrontation with tragedy and death has "the potential to be a liberating and growth-enhancing experience." Their conclusions agree with those of the ancient writer of Ecclesiastes. He recognized the value in facing tragedy and death: "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart" (Ecclesiastes. 7:2)


Tragedy, especially one through which we face our own mortality, often forces us to challenge untested beliefs about our purpose and significance in the world. Like no other event in life, it demands that we reevaluate how and why we live the way we do. Like it or not, deeply held convictions are most often strongly forged in the furnace of trauma and overwhelming adversity.


Learning through trauma is especially arduous because it demands much more than seeing reality clearly. It demands admitting and accepting reality at its ugliest. And it's often in the midst of that ugliness that we learn the most crucial lessons that form the foundations for the rest of our lives.

Something Bigger Going On

I'm not sure what to post, only that I feel like something pretty signficant is happening, like my own cosmos are colliding in some way.

I've been thinking about recent world events, and with so many natural disasters going on, I was already wondering if it things were a reflection of something bigger, something that the man upstairs is trying to tell me, tell us, tell the world, something.

Then I had my random chance encounter with MN2 in DC, which I mentioned in a previous post.

Then I had been thinking about "M" and my new blogging friends, "Sugar" ;-) whom I have recently begun chatting with, and Angellicus whom our connection to God and outlook on life seem quite similar, and other recent random chance encounters that I firmly believe are not coincidences in any form for fashion.

Today I come into work and two of my co-worker's mothers have recently fallen ill. What are the chances that a small group of 9 would have two such incidences happening within a few days of each other? Dunno...even if those "odds" are the norm, it's hitting waaay too close to home.

Something significant is speaking to me through these circumstances, and I am trying my best to hold firm to the things that matter, which is what this particular post is about.

I'm still forming some thoughts on it, but what I can tell you right now is that during these circumstances that bring up fear and deep-rooted concerns, it is when you realize what is most important and the challenge is holding firm to those things. The love for family, for friends, for good health, or for the simple joys in life.

Acknowledge the fears, and focus on what is in your control. I can't control an earthquake, a sudden illness, or a random accident, but I can take action to let you know I care about you, about your circumstances, about your life and your well-being.

I'm keeping all of you in my prayers, in my thoughts, and in my heart.

Blessings and remember to give thanks for all that is well in your life. :-)

With much love,
The Rambling Muse :-)