Making My Way To California

I've been thinking a lot about the choices I've made in my life that brought me to this point in time. The one that stands out the most is my decision to come out to California. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm starting to feel like I don't belong here anymore. I don't know if I was just never a "NorCal girl" at heart, or whether maturity and age have made me desire something else. I don't know.

In the summer of 1998 I did an internship out here in SF with a biotech company. It was really a fluke as to how I got the position. I actually made the recruiter cry in the interview! LOL! My answer to one of her questions involved mentioning the death of my dad and I didn't expect her to react the way she did, but she certainly teared up and I was rather uncertain how that would play out in the end. Job or no job? Well, whatever her reason for it, I was offered the internship.

What was very strange was how perfect it all seemed. At the time of applying for the job, I had no idea where this particular city was (it's about 40 minutes south of SF). I had been to SF a few times, but vacation is obviously very different than living here. Anyway, when I was given the job offer, I called up my brother who was living out here at the time to gather more information. As it turned out, the city where this job was located was actually about 5 minutes away from his house, and his wife's office was actually 2 minutes away from this company. Divine coincidence? I don't know. It was just so perfect. I made arrangements to stay with my brother in the summer and I didn't need a car. I'd just carpool with one or the other and then figure out if I wanted or needed a car once I got here.

There was another "perfect" thing about the job. I had an affinity for biology and genetics ever since high school biology, intiated through events surrounding my dad's illness. I even began college with the intent of going into genetic engineering or going into the medical field. A research internship changed that view, as well as the reality of many, many more years of schooling. LOL. So the next best thing? Another job closely related to this field. It was just SO 'perfect' that I was able to secure a business internship with a biotech company that was closely tied to the mapping of the human genome. Could the planets have been more perfectly aligned?? LOL.

That summer was one of the best times I ever had. The project and people I was assigned to was so much fun and so dynamic. I was learning a lot. I became good friends with an engineering intern from a local school. To this day I'm still good friends with Chris. It's weird to know how far we've gotten in our careers and we often laugh about those days. We were really silly and naive back then.

And California. Oh my goodness! I had a blast that summer. I explored everything and anything about this city. I knew after that summer that this was it. It was just that gut forging ahead and never thinking about any other alternative or considering any setbacks.

When the internship was up in August and I headed back to school, I was offered a permanent job with the company in September. By October I signed up and then it was just a matter of me finishing up my last semester. I was SO proud of the fact that all I had to do was finish school while many of my peers were busy juggling the job search along with their classes.

When I first left home I was fresh out of college and eager to take on the world. I finished up my exams and within a couple of weeks the UHaul was packed up and I was making my way out to California. I didn't even consider taking a break of any sort. I was just eager and ready to make my mark in the world. LOL.

That was over 7 years ago.

Wide Open Spaces (lyrics below), by the Dixie Chicks was my 'theme' song at the time. To this day it still elicits feelings of unlimited possibilities, magnificent endeavors and an eager embracing of whatever comes my way.

Whatever happened to that bright-eyed and fearless girl?

More on this later.

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Wide Open Spaces
Dixie Chicks


Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never left home, who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed

[Chorus:]
She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

[Repeat Chorus]

She knows the high stakes
As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!"
Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl"
She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"
When she stood there and let her own folks know

[Repeat Chorus]

She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes