Garden State Quote

“You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day, one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.”

This Thanksgiving brings with it mixed emotions for me. It's hard to go into details about it, but my trip to Europe was, in part, an attempt to fill the inevitable void and changes I haven't quite accepted going on in my part of the world. I want to go back and freeze time. A time when things weren't so complicated. When simplicity was just that. Simple. There's something unnatural about being intentional about simplifying. It's liberating when you make peace with that inner fear, but there's also an element of saddness when you realize you'll never get it back. You'll never get back that moment. That moment where you were ignorant about the critical juncture your life path was at. Where you were blissfully unaware of your life and the course you'd even take that would eventually lead you to where you're at.

It's true what they say. You can never *really* go home again. All you can do is redefine it's meaning and go from there. I hold dear the imprint that people have left on my heart, and I'm learning to accept that doing the same in return is really the only sure thing in life. Everything else is transitory at best.

Anyway...this is why I'm procrastinating with the packing (for those of you who care to know). By really getting into the packing means that I'm embracing the bigger meaning behind it all. The fact that this is my life, these are my choices, these are the circumstances I was dealt, and I had better be prepared for what's to come because it's the only life I've got, and I'd better make it a darn good one!

First Things First

*Sigh* Another one of those moods.

This trip brings up some anxieties for me. Not the trip itself, but the realization
We all need to find what it is we are searching for.
But first, we all need to realize what it is we are searching for.
We all need to find why it is we are searching.
But first, we all need to realize we are searching.
We all need to find where it is we are searching.
But first, we all need to realize where to find ourselves.
We all need to learn to look closer.
But first, we all need to stop looking elsewhere.
We all need to see the answers that elude us, are found within the questions we have.
But first we must ask ourselves…

I Suck At Packing

So I made it home from the office and managed to scarf down half a roast beef sandwich and chicken salad for dinner. I'm tired and don't want to pack. What is it that I am fighting right now? Being tired and being lazy is just an excuse. I don't know what's keeping me from packing.

I'll rest for another hour or so, I guess. Then I'll have to figure out how to get my a** into action and prepare for this trip.

More in a bit...

Ack

Ok...Just got back from my 9 mile run. It was SO hard waking up this morning for some reason. 6:30am on a Sunday. I was SO tempted to stay in my warm bed and sleep until whenever. But, at 7am I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to Bezerkely to run with my training team.

Today was a serious chafing day on my foot. I see the start of a blister. I suppose I'll go to REI today and pick up some 'second skin' to avoid any more issues, especially while I'm travelling in Italy. I'd hate to have to worry about that while I'm over there. Plus, it'll be a good 10 days to allow the foot to heal.

The left knee started to hurt again around mile 6. Yeah, I know. I'll set up an appt with my doc for sure when I get back. I seriously do not want to do our 14 mile run without checking with him first.

More on this on my training blog and half marathon participant url.

Regarding 'Ack'...so much to do today before I leave. My ride arrives at 6:30am, so I probably won't sleep. Maybe a quick nap this afternoon, but then some serious packing is going on today.

More later...