A-ha Moment!

I was going through some notes from previous sermons when I came across something I had written down in December 2005, taken from the sermon, "Life Lessons From The Christmas Story," based on Luke 1: 39-45 (NIV).

#4 on my pastor's list of lessons:

When pregnant with divine purpose, choose your company wisely.

I believe this is where I'm at.

I believe - I know - that I'm on the verge of something bigger that God has in store for me. I feel it. I'm in the midst of it and to try to grasp that with my secular brain is just a silly exercise that can't ever be done. I can't stop talking about it because that deep-rooted knowing is there, at the gut level, and I feel like I'm going to burst from the anticipation of all that is to transpire!

And so, as I sit here, some of these things are becoming clearer to me. The need to simplify, the need to stop all the analyzing, the need to withdraw a bit from my social activities and friends, and the huge thirst and hunger to just rest in God and to meditate on his teachings. And the desire to be around other strong Christians whose faith I can glean from and whose love I can abide in because I know it's rooted in God's Will.

Lesson #4 reverberated within me. All the things and people I associate with are crucial to moving me forward in faith, and while I get caught up in the pettiness, another note from this lesson was, "be careful not to make the circumstances bigger than the promise." And so, I am holding on to God and moving forward. The aches, the pains, the hurt, the tears, the good-byes and the changes - all worth it if it draws me closer to God.

And lesson #6:

Praise and worship are always the right response.

Lesson #6 was especially interesting because as I grow in my faith, I realize those responses are innate in us. As anyone who comes to know the true glory of God, one can't help but praise and give thanks. The last few weeks all of this gratitude was just flowing from me and I still feel it now. There's so much faith in me right now, and still so much more faith that can grow, that hopeful expectancy and eager anticipation of what's to come is the only way I can describe it. It's a sad thing to know that secular words and terms can never truly convey all the great things that God is doing in me and in others.

I love you. I love life. I love this lesson.

Blessings to all,
RM

Delight In The Lord

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

- Psalm 37:7 (NIV)

Read the entire Psalm of David here.


---------------------------------------------

I have an abundance of gratitude once again. :-)

It may not have seemed like it from the stuff I posted in the last couple of days, but this thankfulness I felt never really went away. It's ebbed and flowed quite a bit recently and I realized I was getting caught up in the things of the world. I prayed, talked to some of my Christian friends, and vented the negative feelings I've had through those conversations and through this blog, and spent time reading the bible. I gained clarity once again, and a renewed sense of gratitude.

All these petty relationships and people who were contributing to these negative feelings I've been having just don't get it. Their hearts, minds, and eyes are not open to God's Word, and while I find that their lives may appear fruitful, there is a sadness knowing that it's not rooted in biblical truths. It's scary to know the deception that the evil one can play on someone sometimes. If we are not "on guard" these setbacks can happen.

I'm growing ever closer to God, and the differing in our biblical perspectives is starting to be a huge gap in these relationships. I definitely see that now. I'm starting to gravitate towards more Christian friends, and there's a saddness within for the way a lot of my friendships are changing. It's nothing that one can see on the superficial level, nor is there a concrete way to describe it, except that it's a spiritual metamorphosis occuring once again.

By 'once again', I mean that a similar situation happened a while ago when I first came to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior. I was living a great life and from all perspectives- within and from outside. It really was a good life. Lots of great things were going on in my life, but something happened and it was amazing the transformation that took place. Someday I'll go into details, but not today. I cannot even begin to explain the spiritual awakening I had back then. It was through that moment that my view on life took on a completely different meaning. It's so hard to explain and to describe, but suddenly I seriously understood what life was really all about. I understood it with a keen clarity and an inherent and essential knowledge. Nothing in my circumstances changed. I still have the same quirks, same issues, and still went about my day to day. The only change was that God's grace enveloped me and from that moment on I was a new creation in Christ.

I find myself at a huge crossroad right now. I truly know that I'm in the midst of something big happening in my life, something that God has not yet revealed, but everyday in small ways I am reminded that He is at work. I know that because of all the relationships I am letting go of, and because of a growing detachment to my things and the stuff I accumulate, and because of the fervent and steadfast way with which I am seeking his righteousness.

I'm changing in SO many grand ways from within, and I find myself not enjoying or valuing some of the secular relationships I have anymore. The pull for me to be in this world is SO strong, yet there's a light within that God wants to shine, and that knows that I am not of the world, but I have a lot of fear, trepidation and apprehension because it is contradictory to the world's perspective on life. I am slowly working on proclaiming the greatness that God has given me. On forging ahead in the knowledge and security of the holy inheritance that he has promised me and to all of those who are a part of His holy kingdom.

And so I continue to work on releasing those things that do not propel me forward in His truths. I know that he is a good God and that as I wait patiently on Him, I know he will be faithful to me and answer all of my prayers.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

- Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

Blessings!

-RM

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