The Weekend - And More - In A Nutshell
I haven't really been feeling like posting anything, but some of you have been wondering where I'm at, so here I am! :-)
The low down on the weekend...
I've been kind of moody. Some of it will be explained here, and some of it will be shared later this week.
Friday night I got stood up. Yeah. Daggit!! I was pissed. We were supposed to meet on Thursday, but the guy rescheduled for Friday. So Friday I show up at Starbucks and after waiting for an hour, I moved on. I acknowledged the disappointment and anger, and I met up with my dear cousin who let me just vent and b**ch about men and the sorry a**es I've had the misfortune of meeting lately.
On Sat I called up to to find out what happened because you never know, right? It was very obvious he was playing games with the entire thing. So that was that. Another frog kissed.
Saturday I hung out with MN. We were supposed to go skiing/snowboarding, but she woke up with a crick in her neck. She couldn't turn her neck at all. So she went to the doctor and got muscle relaxers. She slept a lot that day due to the drugs, but we had a nice lunch and got massages and facials. It was a good thing we didn't go up north. The conditions on the slopes were great, but I heard the drive was he**ish. It took 7 hours for one friend to drive back! Thank goodness I didn't get stuck up there.
Sunday was rather depressing. It rained all day, so I didn't do much. I was really missing my family and was wondering why the heck I ever moved to California in the first place. It was a thought that is part of a bigger issue right now, but not one that I care to post about yet. It was a long, lonely and sad evening last night. Thankfully I have friends who are supportive and stuck with me until 2, 3, 4AM when I finally didn't have anything left to say.
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Today is the start of 40 days of prayer and consecration with my church. During this time we have been asked to set aside quality time to pray, fast and/or limit an indulgence. I suppose this couldn't have come at a better time, as I am really struggling through some things right now. My heart is unsettled and I know this lesson is all about letting go and moving on and truly letting God have his way in my life. I'm really resisting it for some reason. I haven't pinpointed the exact root of it, but I do know it's tied to fear. Aren't all of our trepidations and apprehensions ultimately tied to fear in some way?
I'm at a strange point in my life. Life has never made more sense and there has never been more optimism, spiritual growth and gratitude happening within me, but it also coincides with an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and resistance. I just needed to retreat for a while and figure out what's stirring inside of me.
I'll end this with random notes from this weekend's church service. It may not make sense to some of you, but the blog is all about capturing my own thoughts and moments, so if it seems cryptic, so be it. I sure wish you could have heard the sermon. The guest pastor was hilarious!
Judges 6: 11-16
- God calls inadequate people into incredible ministries
Judges 6:25-32
- Fear and faith can co-exist
- God calls fearful people to faithful ministries
Butterflies in the stomach: Why would I (God) take away those things that make you trust in me?
Judges 33-40
- God calls doubting people to daring ministries.
The darkest night of your soul will be the night you find your life.
Preached by Phil Tuttle of Normal, Illinois.
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So with that, I invite you to join in the 40 days of prayer and consecration. Send an encouraging and uplifting thought my way or spend a moment doing that for anyone in your circle of influence. The world will be a better place if we remember to do that each and every day.
Blessings,
Rambling Muse
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"Be still, and know that I am God"
-Psalm 46:10
posted by ramblingmuse @ 4:38 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
RM,
I cannot believe you got stood up! What an a-hole. I'm sorry the weekend had some sadness in it, but you sound like you've gotten yourself into a better place. I hope the following 40 days will bring you peace and joy.
love,
b
What a jerk.
Sending you many positive vibes on your 40 day journey.
Often times, when our Souls go through purification, it leaves us feeling down, but not to worry. After the process is over, we see the most beautiful horizons, hear the most melifluous music, love warms our heart again, everything is sweeter. It's because a sensational change has already taken place inside; a shift in consciousness. God has moved us a little closer to home and everything is alright. Everything is just like it should be safe in the arms of God. You have my blessing now and always. By the way, I heard a funny quote I'd like to share. "You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it
turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
Take care and I am always reading your marvelous words. :)
ditto. got stood up last night. :( it sucks. but i suppose its part of the game. hope you come back refreshed after the 40 day sojourn.
wow arent u a crazy little masochist making for a stood up date wt forty days of fasting ..heh just kidding..im actually on the thing right now..no non-veg, wanted to chuck smokes too but thats for next year..tho im not really sure why im doing it..not that religious me..just wanted to try somethng different n mu cuzzin was doing it..
Thanks for sharing the verses from your church. It's always refreshing to see people be open about religion...so many folks are uptight about it.
I like that God calls inadequate people to incredible ministries...I am truly one of those!
Saw you at michele's and thought I'd visit!
hey. I posted and it isn't here.
Anyway RM, sorry about your icky weekend.
:)
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