In Search Of The Holy Grail (aka Unscented Deodorant)

What is it with deodorant these days?

The last few times I went to Walmart/Target/KMart looking for deodorant, I could not find a simple stick of unscented deodorant in my beloved brand.

What gives?

There were a ton of scents to choose from:
Glacier Mist
Mystic Rain
Ocean Breeze
Powder Fresh
Peach Shimmer
Berry Sparkle
Luminous Lily
Tropical Radiance
Ambition
Genuine
Optimism

But no unscented!

Then there was the crazy variety of applicators to choose from:
roll-on
aerosol
wide solid
invisible solid
sparkle collection
platinum invisible collection
platinum soft solid
platinum clear gel

Just solid, please.

What the heck?

All I was looking for was my tried and true non-scented solid, but nooooo. There was everything but my coveted unscented.

I'm sorry, but remind me why I'd like to smell like Ocean Breeze again? Does wearing it actually make you feel like you're chasing waves and building sand castles? I beg to differ. It certainly doesn't make me feel like I've been out for an afternoon of sailing.

Or what about Glacier Mist? Wearing that certainly doesn't make me feel like I've been scaling glaciers in the Artic. And if I was somewhere climbing glaciers, deodorant would be the last of my concerns!

And Mystic Rain? What is that?? Do you ever sit in a business meeting and think, "Hey, wish I was in the Amazon being rained on right now"? Even if you did, I find it hard to believe that this deodorant is the next best thing to your fantasy!

And what's with Peach Shimmer and Berry Sparkle? Those sound like lipstick colors or eyeshadows. Does anyone really care if your armpits are looking like they've got a healthy, fruity glow about them? Weird!

And then there are scents called Ambition, Genuine, and Optimism. First of all, what the heck kind of scents are those?? Since when did Eastern philosophy merge with body odor? I never knew yin-yang/feng shui/dharma could be applied to your armpits? And can you actually boost your A, G, O levels through it's use, or have it change your fate, as if miraculous osmosis occurs through the underarm area? If that's the case then I'll be the first to buy scents like Lotto Winner and Supermodel.

Ai yi yi.

I have no idea what these marketing guys are thinking.

I just want ONE #$%! stick of UNSCENTED deodorant!

Is that too much to ask??

--------------

FYI...

Each time I do happen to find my brand, think Elaine from Seinfeld and her coveted sponges. I pretty much buy and hoard all that is in stock. It's usually never more than 2 or 3 sticks total in the entire deodorant section! Who knew that the 'search for the Holy Grail' is really all about unscented deodorant?

Now you know.