Elation and Grief

Tonight was just an awesome, awesome worship service. The guest pastor was on fire! I was really feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit and I was just bursting with praise for our Lord!

The lesson this evening was based on Romans 8:28 (NIV):

"And we know that in all things God words for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

He spoke of Saul (whose name was later changed to Paul) and how he was transformed from persecutor of Christ, to a believer of Christ, and how he went from being a murderer to being a missionary. It's a longer and more complicated story than that, but just awesome, awesome, awesome to know that in all of our trials, inequities, and sins, God is always at work and will use all of these things to fulfill his divine purposes.

I left this evening with such a renewed fervor for all that is happening in my life and the continued desire to just lean on Him more and more. I just want to embrace all the things going on in my life, good or bad, and just let God do what he wants with me and my life. I feel it ever more in my gut that he's growing me closer into His image.

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On another note...I got some sad news. My mom's long-time friend of .... gosh... 30+(?) years passed away last Sunday. I knew H was in the ICU at the hospital the last couple of weeks, and so I assumed my mom had been busy helping her family out and such, which would explain why we hadn't been in a lot of contact this last week. I called my sister who told me tonight of what transpired. I guess my mom isn't handling it too well.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, either. I guess the first step in grief is denial. It's weird. I've known H and her family for all of my life. But a strange thing happens when you move away from home. It's like, I don't see her as regularly anymore since moving to California, so her death seems just like an intellectual concept, if that makes any sense. I guess it would be different if I was in Arizona partaking in the wake, the funeral, and related activities.

I've thought about this idea before too. Like if my grandparents were to pass would it even seem real? I don't think it would because I feel a bit 'removed' from them now that I live out-of-state.

*sigh*

I dunno...H was an awesome woman, and I've got so many great memories of her. I ask that you all pray for healing and comfort for all of those who are grieving her death.

Thanks everyone.

Love,

Rambling Muse