No More Online Dating For Me

I'm taking a much needed break for a while. I'm still dating, still meeting people, but will limit the online dates for a while.

Here are reasons and random experiences to support this decision, and a few gripes thrown in there for the men who are replying to my ad!


1. I ran into a gal pal who told me she decided to try out one of these personal sites. Turns out she has been casually dating some guy that I had also met through that site about a year ago. Said dude and I didn't really click, but we've remained friendly. When my gal pal started to describe this new guy she just met, her description started to sound way too familiar. Much to my chagrin, it turned out to be the person I thought it was. This entire scenario is just too weird.

2. More on #1. The online dating community is super small. Every site you go to has the same core members. I guess once you've tried one site, then you just go ahead and try the others. It's just like high school all over again.

3. I'm tired of men who are super interested initially, and then after 2 or 3 email exchanges flake out. And for the life of me I can't figure out why the sudden disinterest. Nothing significant was ever exchanged in those emails/phone calls/IM's. Don't waste my time, people!

4. I'm tired of men who don't even read a profile and pursue mainly because they like a photo. Ok, it's flattering when they say I'm pretty, but I'm looking for someone who is interested in ME, and who can carry a conversation without resorting to flattery.

5. I'm tired of OLD men sending me emails. Sick. Just sick.

6. I'm sorry if you suddenly realized that you want kids. Why didn't you get a grip on that reality in your younger years? Isn't that a reflection of your own oversight and outlook on life? Are you seriously mid-lifeing and realizing that you are getting older and have nothing to show for it?

7. Excuse me, but isn't it just wrong that you are pursuing women (mainly) because they are of child-bearing age? Whatever happened to compatibility, companionship, genuine connection?

8. Another EXCUSE ME, but I'm young enough to be your daughter or niece (if you had one). One word: Eeeww!!!

9. I don't care how "active" of a lifestyle you have. There is no way I could get over the age difference/generation gap. Do you even know what GAP is??

10. I'm tired of the immature men my age. Ok, not all men my age are that immature, but there is a lot of truth to the fact that men mature later than women. Saying 'dude' in every other sentence and surviving on pizza and ramen should have been left behind in your mid 20's or thereabouts.

11. I cannot believe the number of men who claim they want a relationship but in reality define relationship as sex. Ok, I can believe this, but don't push for anything when clearly I've stated I wasn't interested. Uhh...NO MEANS NO.

12. I'm tired of all the foreigners who answer my ad. I am not a Green Card dispenser. I am not your ticket to citizenship, sorry.

13. When I've clearly told you I'm not interested, don't try to talk me out of it. As if your powers of persuasion will suddenly cause our views on life to sync up? Or your awesome list of reasons to date you will suddenly cause me to feel chemistry?

14. Just because we have good conversation and a lot in common does not mean relationship. Not everyone who gets along is meant to be romantically involved.

15. If you're not interested, just be honest. Don't go ahead and set up a coffee date and then stand me up.

16. READ THE DARN AD. I clearly stated I want to meet single men. This does not mean divorced, this does not mean with kids (from marriage or out of wedlock...sheesh...WTF kind of technicality are you trying to get away with??).

17. Don't send a novel introducing yourself to me. A pleasant paragraph or two will do.

18. Don't expect me to go out of my way to meet you. I am a woman and expect to be treated as such. This includes you making the effort to drive to my part of town for coffee or lunch.

19. Keep your expectations in check. It usually takes 2-5 dates before you can totally write someone off. How rude is it to blow me off because our first meeting seemed a bit awkward? What do you expect?? We may have chatted or emailed or spoken on the phone, but meeting in person for the first time really is like a blind date. Chill out and relax.

20. If you're more than 2 hours away from my selected region, then you had better be an awesome guy for me to take you seriously. Do you seriously think you can start a relationship with so much distance? It's hard enough to start one locally! And not only that, but it seems fishy if you are answering ads that are out of your state. Hmm...???

21. I went to a business mixer at a restaurant with some friends one evening. A random guy approached me and we got to talking. It turned out that he worked at a company with another friend of mine. I wasn't interested, but we exchanged business cards anyway. I figured you never know. I didn't hear from him and I forgot about the incident. Then a few months later he replied to my online ad. However, it was very obvious he was just sending out emails without reading ads or looking at pics. Yeesh...pay attention, people!

22. Men, don't copy-paste a generic introduction to all the women you are replying to. Pat replies are just SO obvious that you're into the numbers game. I wonder what the success rate is, anyway. Out of every 10 women you email, how many responses do you actually get?

23. If I hear another caucasian guy call me 'exotic' I will scream.

24. If I hear another caucasian guy tell me how much he loves 'my' culture I will scream.

25. If I hear another caucasian guy tell me "ni hao" (chinese for 'how are you') I will scream. As if your one chinese phrase automatically gets you into my good graces, or you think it'll cause me to do a double take because you really are chinese, despite your round, blue eyes. WTF???

26. If I hear another caucasian guy tell me how much he loves stir fry and Buddhism, I will scream.

27. If I hear another caucasian guy tell me how much he loved traveling in Asia I will scream.

28. Don't call me sweetheart after our first phone call.

29. Christian and belief in Jesus Christ is not the same as agnostic, "spiritual", or believing in a "higher power". God is God and not some life force or positive entity.

30. In the first phone conversation we have, don't tell me your dad is gay, that the reason you got a nipple ring was because you were crazy drunk one day with friends (about 3 years ago, which would then make you a very, very mature 34 year old...NOT), and that you are currently in therapy because you have problems committing. Oh, and I should mention this dude is a middle school teacher. Umm...talk about a dual life. And my future children are in your hands? Ai yi yi!!


Ok...I could go on, but I think this you all get the point. LOL!


Cheers!